Joel Monkey and Darcy Monkey like these shoes.... just the shoes....

That’s right, Darcy wants those shoes that make his ass look 28% more fantastic. (He also wants to be able to get away with speaking in the 3rd person more often, but he digresses).

How would anyone not want a pair of those shoes? Tone and tightening up muscles all over in places? In an age where straight men have to compete with the body comparisons of our ladies friends gay boyfriends, it’s a reality all men should face up to and do something about.

That said, I would seriously buy these ass shoes if not for one simple fact: they add X” to my height. How do I know this? I don’t. I’m a blogger, I looked at it and thought it would add X” to my height. (Plus, I Googled the heck out of it trying to find the technical specs, but they aren’t online and if Wikipedia doesn’t have it, then in my world, it doesn’t exist.)

I already have enough trouble trying to get through doors without slicing off the top part of my head, this extra height added to my existing tall frame might lead to serious injury for me.

Laugh and deny all you want, but ask your tall friends if they don’t slightly “duck” when they walk through any open doorway. It’s reflexive and might not be enough when ass shoe height is added.

For safety sake, I’ll just have to stick to the jogging.

Hope everyone is having a great Labor Day! Especially Holli, who had to go into work. Someone send that lady a gift basket!